“Hey there, little one?
Today, you’re 9 weeks 4 days old and you’re a beautiful fetus right now, working on the cuteness of your facial features as your heart beats faster than Mummy’s and you’re working out on those diaphragms too! I’m so proud of you to have survived this tough milestone, you’re such a sweetheart.
I promise you I’ll do anything to make you proud of me my little peanut. I’ll be your inspiration and you’ll be my motivation to live. You’ll grow up to be a beautiful person with a beautiful heart, just like me. I’ll give you the best that I can because you never gave up on me. People needed me for their personal pleasure and greed, but you needed me to survive. And you will, with me right here to protect you. We will tank this through together, through all the oceans and mountains; through my love. I’ll bring you to places we’ve never been before, travel the whole world together and just appreciate the wonders of this world. I am so sorry for all the late night sleep and all the labour work and all the crying and screaming and self-harming – you must be so worried for me – I feel you sink when I cry, I feel you worried when I am angry and I feel you giggling to yourself when Mummy’s happy. Sweetie, but I’d rather hurt myself than to hurt you. I’ll be your best teacher and prepare you for life.
Please promise me this, my little beautiful peanut; that you’ll be the reason why people smile. You’ll be the reason why they will feel at peace. You’ll be fire and light, lighting up the darkness of people’s hearts and burning the ice in their souls to keep them warm. You’ll create miracles and be the change the world has yet to see. Never hate or hurt, because we are all suffering individuals who deserve happiness. Be forgiving, be understanding and be the voice for the voiceless. Hand in hand, we will walk down this road together and help as many people as possible, you understand? You’ve got a beautiful heart and you belong to the whole world. At such a tiny weeny age you could be the sacrifice for selfish convenience but fret not, I won’t let that happen, understand? I’ll protect you from anyone who wants to hurt you and I’ll be your light. I’ll give you all that I could never have and I’ll give you all that you’ve ever wanted. But of course, I wouldn’t spoil you too. Well, but Mummy knows you won’t be a spoiled brat, you’ll be understanding and always have compassion in your mind. You’ll win the hearts of those who lost hope to live and you’ll always love like you’ve never loved before. One day, when you grow up and find someone whom you love, promise me that you’ll treat her right and never leave her alone to suffer. Be there for her just like how Mummy has been there for you, through thick and thin.
Before proving to the whole world that you’re not a mistake, you have already proven yourself that your survival is the best remedy to the hole in my heart. I can’t wait to touch your tiny fingers and toes and feel your soft skin against mine. I can’t wait to see you in real life bcs each time I see you from the screen, I’d be tearing with joy. You’re a sort of happiness I could never explain and people call me immature and thoughtless for that. Yes, you may not be appearing at the most convenient timing of my life but you are still an undeniable joy. I promise you my little one, Mummy’s going to make your life joyful too.
I love you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and to every beat of your beautiful magnanimous heart. Don’t forget, you are a fighter, a warrior, a survivor. You’re the best thing that has ever been mine to call and to look upon!
I hope you had a good night sleep; rest well and sleep tight again!