Your number scares the shit out of me
I fumbled with my phone to clear you out of my sight
Anything reminding me of you
Gives me the chills
I am deleting them all
Because you scare the fuck out of me
And you fucked me over too much
Funny how these eight digits still live in my head
Subconsciously clinging on to a person who is not there
Someone who stole my freedom in exchange of a trust I value
Someone who ruined it in exchange for his freedom and value
With shaky hands I deleted you off
These tears flowing down my cheeks
Are something that I can’t stop
As the days go by the pain increases
As the pain hits high the hate starts to reason
As the shame turns low the logic starts to appear
You made used of my vulnerability and strength to tear me into pieces
As the hurt grows strong the body starts to weaken
As the drinks hit home the mind starts to pester
As the sanity dies the guilt starts to linger
I’m all over with what they bullshit understand of
Talk about me and backstab me like murder
Fuck what you understand
You can never fathom my conscience
So torn between drinking til I die and keeping myself in pieces
What is the stopping of the heartbeat
When you’re already dead a billion hours
Debilitated, I lost all that I could to keep myself alive
Slamming my head all over just to remind myself I have to be alive
The hands of the divine are all I could grasp in time
I begged for mercy and I begged for resurrection
This tiny body I’ve grown and struggled to protect shall be given over
Promise me to protect it now that I couldn’t
But that’s my baby
I can’t easily weaken
So torn between fighting two lives and giving both up all at once
So torn between painting pretty masquerades and destroying for the truth I’ve shunned out
This is who I am with my heart bitten all over
Fuck your shaming
Fuck yourself upside down
You only love your fucking image
You only love yourself
And I colour shades of red on my fleshy canvas
With a crayon like knife
It shall all be over
This hate goes higher than expected
Vengeance seething but I am keeping them together
Waiting to spit it out all over your river
I want you to suffer just like how you put me through
I want you to burn just like how you scalded me while I’m begging you
I want you to be torn just like how you cut me through
I want you to die just like how you want me to
I hope the last conversation haunts you every night
Because you deserved this you deserved to be alive
You pushed me while I’m walking on tightrope just to keep you satisfied
Play games with me to convince yourself that you are right
Try me I shall choke you in your sleep and watch you struggle for a life
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