Loving Kindness

Despite all the traumas and pain inflicted on me

You’ll always be the most tender little boy I know

Who gave love to be loved in return

Yet despite my struggles

I couldn’t give you what I wanted

And got both of us hurt in the process

One last time to confirm with you if this was what you wanted

In the end

I could never have the chance to build back what was gone forever

One fine day

I placed myself in your own shoes and started walking a few miles

Realised it was a painful journey

And how I wished whatever I gave could make it up

Unfortunately it couldn’t

And that was why you left

See we chose this path together and it could have been beautiful

I guess you gave up while the flames of hope started burning in me

So it’s time for me to let you go

Though I admit there is no day that goes by

Without thinking of you

As I wonder how you are

The petals of death landed on my feet

A sign that I should not trudge further into that thought

If my heart beats,

No longer should it go by the tempo of your faded love

If it decides to live,

No longer should it consist fragments of your innocence

Who you’ll always be in my heart

For your loving kindness has taught me more than I should

So it is okay if you’ve forgotten all that I’ve done for you

Because I remember

The beauty of your smile

And I pray that it stays there radiant as ever

A glimmer of hope in the dark

And a peace of mind when the earth starts to shatter

You love the sea more than the waves do

Do you?

I pray the waves shall wash away your sorrow

I thank you for all the miracles you’ve showed

And I apologise for being such a fool

To have overlooked your sadness

And your little suffering soul

While I struggled to pick myself up

For each time you looked away

I fell

And for each time you gave me warmth

My insecurities grew

They drove me far away

Out of reach of you

Forgive me

My loving kindness

Forget me if you have to

Myself to blame

For no longer could you love

The uncertainty of my soul

And the tenderness of my heart

Now that I’ve got nothing but my blues with me

I think about the future

This universe is never fair

Everything is inconsistent

As the wind caressed my cheeks

I thought of the balloons you let off to the sky

As the sky starts streaking red

I thought of the waves we sat above

While talking about life

Such intimacy is gone and never to return

It’s time to build a shelter to house my next love

A fruit of what was called love to be reaped

The taste of new life rose to be free

As I trudge along this silent path

My heart slowly setting you free

Though my mind still wanders for you

The thought of concern hits me hard

Should my actions hurt you

Would I be able to live with it?

Trying to convince myself I am totally wiped off from your universe

It is really okay with the steps I plan to take

For time is ticking fast

And I’m catching up too late

I cannot afford to wait any longer

You’re hard to predict

But you’re young and you’re free

I shall step back from your precious freedom

And take a closer view of my next chapter

I wish you all the best in life

As I take my place as a bride of a beau

No longer it is about who you love

But who can love you while you can’t in return

For love breeds love

It shall be the best solution

To be loved by a husband and love him in return

Tears still trickle down my cheeks

I won’t forget your loving kindness

And I wish you the best in life

May you marry a beautiful bride

Captivated by the same loving eyes

May she be a true love

May you have eternal joy

Last but not least,

I still love you

So with all the loving kindness you gave

I shall return it all back to you

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